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The Couple's Money Constitution
A framework for couples to align their financial values, establish rules of engagement, and build a shared financial vision together.
Instructions:
- Print two copies of this worksheet.
- Fill them out separately without discussion.
- Schedule a dedicated time to compare answers and identify gaps.
Part I: The Preamble — Values & Philosophy
Defining the “Why” behind your money.
1. The “Enough” Definition
Rank the following priorities from 1 (Most Important) to 4 (Least Important):
- Security: A high number in the bank/zero debt.
- Freedom: Flexibility to work less or choose projects.
- Lifestyle: Comfort, cars, home, and possessions.
- Generosity: The ability to give money/time to others.
2. The Privacy Scale
On a scale of 1–5, how much financial transparency do you require?
(1 = Separate accounts/privacy is key vs. 5 = Total transparency/share all logins)
3. The “Raise” Clause
If our household income doubles, how do we allocate the new money?
- Spend it: Upgrade our lifestyle immediately.
- Split it: 50% for enjoyment, 50% to savings.
- Bank it: Maintain current lifestyle to retire earlier.
Part II: The Articles of History
Understanding the “Money Scripts” you inherited.
4. The Dinner Table Test
Circle the word that best describes money conversations in your childhood home:
Tense | Silent | Abundant | Controlling | Educational | Chaotic
5. The Debt Trauma
On a scale of 1–10, how much anxiety does carrying debt (of any kind) cause you?
(1 = No anxiety vs. 10 = Extreme Panic)
Part III: The Four Chambers
Chamber 1: SPEND — Lifestyle & Joy
6. The Consultation Threshold
We must consult each other before making any single purchase over: $________
7. Outsourcing Policy
Our stance on paying for services (cleaning, lawn care, delivery) to save time:
- Time > Money: We will pay premiums to buy back our time.
- Money > Time: We will do the work ourselves to save cash.
Chamber 2: SAVE — Short-Term Security
8. The “Sleep Well” Number
To feel safe, our liquid Emergency Fund must cover how many months of expenses?
- 1 Month
- 3 Months
- 6 Months
- 1 Year
Chamber 3: INVEST — Long-Term Growth
9. Market Volatility Protocol
If the stock market drops 20% this week, what is your instinct?
- Sell: Stop the losses immediately.
- Hold: Do nothing and wait.
- Buy: Invest more while prices are low.
10. The Finish Line
My ideal age to stop working full-time is: ________
Chamber 4: DONATE — Impact & Family
11. Family Lending Policy
If a family member asks for a loan >$1,000, our policy is:
- Strict No.
- Business Transaction: Yes, but with a signed contract and interest.
- Gift Only: We only give if we don’t expect it back.
Part IV: The Amendments — Rules of Engagement
12. The Debt Veto
Mark the items below for which you are willing to take on debt:
- Mortgage (Primary Home)
- Cars / Vehicles
- Education
- Vacation / Travel
- Starting a Business
13. The Tie-Breaker
When we are at a total stalemate on a decision, how do we proceed?
- The “No” Wins: We take the conservative path.
- The Waiting Period: We pause 72 hours before discussing again.
- The Third Party: We defer to a financial planner or trusted mentor.
Next Step
If you and your partner complete this worksheet separately and then compare answers, you might find very different responses for Question #6 (The Consultation Threshold) or Question #9 (Market Volatility). Those gaps are exactly where the most productive conversations begin.
Want to understand the “why” behind this framework? Read the companion article: The Silent Divide: Why Every Marriage Needs a Money Constitution
Ready to take the next step? A financial planner can help mediate those specific conflicts and build a plan that honors both perspectives. Schedule a conversation with us today.
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